White House To Engineer Perfect Boy Band
Prepare to say 'Bye Bye Bye' to birthright citizenship
Trump Pardons Seventh Grader Who Shit In Urinal
In an unprecedented move late last week, President Donald Trump issued a sweeping pardon to seventh grader Jaden Fassbender...
Top Pentagon Officials Reveal New Policy WWDPD? Amid Internal Chaos
What Would Drunk Pete Do?
Canada Still There, Apparently Fine
Following a return to irrelevance after President Trump moved on from his two week campaign to turn the Great White North...
Piece Of Shit Called Piece Of Shit By Fellow Piece Of Shit
While aimlessly wandering through Mattapan local scumbag Logan Fitzpatrick, 43, whose recent outburst at Thanksgiving dinner...
Cold Weather Renews Vice-Principal’s Crusade Against Drug Pantomiming
The recent drop in temperature has brought with it renewed efforts from Vice-Principal Shepherd to counteract the pretend...
Trump Announces Healthcare Plan, Orders Thousands Of Zoltar Machines From ‘Big’ Placed Across Country
Transcript of President Donald Trump’s remarks on Tuesday, December 2, 2025, concerning the GOP’s new healthcare plan
Wet Mark On Teacher’s Pants Funniest Shit Class Has Ever Seen
Following an absent-minded hand-washing in the bathroom, seventh-grade history teacher Mr. Z, 26, found himself the object...
Archaeologists Uncover Lost Sayings Of Teenage Confucius
Excavations along the Yellow River have yielded a treasure trove of previously unknown sayings by the famed Chinese philosopher...
Doughboy Pressured To Find Nice Doughgirl To Settle Down With
During a gathering at their family manor in Hiawatha the Pillsbury Doughboy was cornered in the kitchen by his Doughparents...
Man’s Use Of ‘Niggardly’ Followed By Impassioned Etymological Defense
“Look it up,” insisted local man Kyle Johnson after dropping the word ‘niggardly’ in polite conversation, “it doesn’t...
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