Washington—Following a return to irrelevance after President Trump moved on from his two week campaign to turn the Great White North into the 51st state at the beginning of the year Canada is apparently doing fine.
Here’s what Americans had to offer on the topic:
“Didn’t they get a new President or whatever they call it up there?” — Phil Henderson, Philadelphia, PA.
“I don’t know weren’t they mad about tariffs or something.” — Jackson Williams, Buffalo, NY.
“Last thing I remember was that Justin Trudeau started dating Katy Perry. That’s about when I checked out on Canada.” Miranda Hofstadter, U.S.-Canadian dual citizen, Eugene, OR.
In a statement shared by Prime Minister Mark Carney on Truth Social Canada it was announced that the nation, “had proudly returned to its rightful place on the global stage as America’s boring plus one.” The relatively unknown world leader added that, “While we expect another uptick in awareness during the Winter Olympics next February, barring any unforeseen threats to our autonomy we shouldn’t be relevant again until at least the mid-2030’s.”
At time of reporting The Onion's "u good?" text similarly sent to the territory of Greenland had not garnered a response.
