Minneapolis, MN—During a gathering at their family manor in Hiawatha the Pillsbury Doughboy was cornered in the kitchen by his Doughparents and confronted with why he had not yet found a nice Doughgirl to settle down with. The subject had reportedly consumed the couple following news of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man’s recent engagement.
Tapping her plump Doughfoot concernedly the bespectacled Doughmother rehashed the same classics that the Doughboy had heard for the past five years. “We’re just worried that you aren’t taking this seriously,” she began. “We’ve supported you while you’ve, um, had your fun, but its time to find someone,” she said making a not so subtly disapproving reference to the Double Acting Baking Powder Clabber Girl that the Doughboy had been seeing on and off for the past few months. “You know, that ‘friend’ of yours that Uncle Rollie saw you with in the city.”
Appealing to his Doughfather he countered by saying that things were just really busy at work and that he hadn’t had any free time since the recent marketing campaign. The Doughfather, who had yet to say anything, remained silent with his fluffy white arms crossed.
“You’re getting a little golden-brown and we’re worried that you’ll end up with one of those just-add-water hussies,” his Doughmother continued. “Besides, we want to become grand-Doughparents before we go stale. We all go bad eventually,” she added as the dagger at the end.
She then brought up Poppie Fresh from across the street as if the idea had just naturally arisen, imploring that they would make the most adorable Doughkids.
The Pillsbury Doughboy agreed to start seriously looking for a Doughmate and promised to bring one to the family gathering next year. It was at this point that Uncle Rollie wandered into the kitchen looking for another Dough-beer and asked the Doughboy if he was getting married yet.
